I've made a big decission.

I am so scared its unreal but, I have decided to go self employed. A number of factors prompted this, first up I was concerned about being fined humungous amounts of money by HMRC, but, a more deciding factor is that as a self employed person I can make contributions into my state pension. Its been a real concern of mine that I have not paid in anything for a number of years. Being poor and young in unpleasant, being poor and old is just terrible and the thought terrifies me. I am in search of a new company name though. There is already a 'real' company out there with my chosen name, so I need to come up with something unique and catchy and most importantly mine. I am running a competition on my Facebook Fan page for names. Feel free to come along, join the fans and enter a name.

I've been sewing over the weekend, surprise surprise. I am really proud of what I've made but, I can't tell you here because its for a secret santa, lol. However, I will be making more things and am really looking forward to it too.

Right, got to run, time to get ready to collect Arthur from preschool.

stoopid o'clock

I have a pain. Its a BIG pain. Its keeping me awake. Over the last few weeks (its been going on sometime) I have had less and less sleep. The good news is that I get to chat with my friend on MSN as she is in Canada, the bad news is that I am really tired, grumpy and generally not pleasant to be with. I have painkillers which dont do what it says on the tin and physio weekly who can't do anything as I am in so much pain. Its a real pain. LOL.

Anyway. To happier things.

I have a new sewing machine. Oh, it is so wrong but, I am in love with my new sewing machine. Its just amazing, its so fantastic I dont know where to begin trying to describe how much I love it. My main problem is I cannot find a single thing to make! I've looked and looked for a project but as yet, nothing jumps up and down shouting 'Make ME! Make ME!'. When it does though I bet I turn into a sewing demon. LOL.

I went to a craft fair today. Two and a half hours without a single child with me, surrounded by fantastic handmade goodies and tasty treats. I was having such a good time I nearly didnt come home. I spent LOTS, but, now have some lovely christmas presents. My favourite thing is the Roasting Planks! www.theroastingplankcompany.co.uk I've bought two of the large 'beech' oven ones, and a set of all 4 of the BBQ ones as presents but, I really wish I had got some of them for us too. I also picked up two GORGEOUS bedding sets. They were made for 'Pier', one of my favourite shops. Originally being sold by Pier for over £100 the stall holder, who made them, was selling them for £25 to get rid of them (as Pier is now, no more...). Again, I've bought one as a gift but the other I did buy for ME. Yummy. Also at the fair was a lady I've 'met' from the Making Jewellery forum. I so enjoy meeting people in real life, its good to get to know them that way. She lives near here so we hope to get together for a coffee sometime. There was also a lady from Castle Cary there! I think I may have got a little too excited about this, a sign that I am not happy anymore? Who knows! but, it was so lovely to speak to her, to chat about Cary and just make a small reconnection with home.

I've been looking at garden rooms again. Why do I do it. Its not going to happen. I do love the idea though. Can you imagine a small area, lockable, free from children and hubby. My own space. Its a thought that almost makes me cry with desire.

Finally I am starting to feel sleepy enough that I may get some despite the pain. So I shall finish for now. Ta-ra.

Apologies for the delay in blogs..

Life is chaos, chaos is life. Three children, a cat, 10 chickens, a husband, a house, hobbies, jewellery stalls... The list goes on. Add to that my very sore arm and shoulder and well, you can see its reasonable that I have not updated this for a while. Can't you? (please agree....).I've done the stall at the Preschool, and sold a bracelet and pair of earrings. Not a HUGE success, but, its a start, and preschool have said I can go back in a couple of weeks for the run up to Christmas. I am more and more wanting, needing to make this work. For the past few years, being a parent has been all I've had, but, as the children grow they are less dependent on me (I am no longer breastfeeding Howard) and can spend longer with others, Daddy, Nanny, Granma and Grandad. This means I am feeling kind of aimless, without a goal. I had hoped the allotment would fill that void, sadly my PND and leg pain but that out of the equation. Jewellery making though, I can do in spare moments, if I dont do any there wont be weeds growing, or harvest rotting etc. So, its all out for Something Sparkly? It has to work. Not least because John and I have invested rather a lot of money into equipement, beads and stock.
I seem to be drawn to beads in shades of green at the moment. I love green, its such a fresh, 'alive' sort of colour. At this time of year, when the gorgeous coloured leaves are almost gone from trees, when the weather is mucky, the world can seem rather brown, muddy and dull. Green is a vibrant, zingy reminder of warmer, cheerier seasons. The necklace set just above has some fabulous green foil beads and its been teamed with citrine green swarovski crystals. Its so lovely, though I do admit to a little bias regarding that point. I have another necklace set that is all one colour, but different sized beads add interest. Its a really bright lime green. Fabulous. I will try and get that added here later, though it has been added to my facebook fanpage if you'd like to take a look.

A models life is not for me..

I don't like photos of me. I don't like posing for photos either. However, today a photographer from London Lite came and took photos of me, the children and our chickens. My false smile was hard to maintain. Not sure when it will be in, though apparently the paper comes out on Wednesdays. The only thing that was good was that I was wearing Howard in an MT. YEH! Babywearing in the paper. Fantastic.

I need to make things desperately for my stall. I am concerned I do not have enough diversity. In fact, I may just pop into Kingston now, and see about getting some things. Update later...

ouchies ouchies

I've done something weird to myshoulder and arm. Not sure what exactly but flipin' 'eck it HURTS. Tried 4 lots of prescribed painkillers, the last lot seem to take the edge off but dont get rid of it completely. For now, I'll settle for that. The drugs make me 'drunk' but, its that or pain, and I know which I prefer.

The Jewellery making is in full swing now. I went to the bead show and bought some terrific beads and things. Bought some PMC to play with too, that will have to wait though as the torch that came with it is duff. I've made some childrens things, bracelets and necklaces, will need to work on my disclaimer details, as obviously these are not toys, even though they are likely to be bought for or by children. I've made a beautiful necklace and earrings set. (see the photos, red beads and green leaves) Totally gorgeous. BUT, when I worked out the costings it came to £65! Yikes. Not sure anyone is going to want to buy that. Oh well, I may just have to keep it. I've also got some new lampwork beads, from the show, which are beautiful, I just need to work out what I want to do with them. I dont want to rush in and try to make something just for the sake of it. Need to wait until inspiration strikes. I am trying to work out what to display my jewellery on when I take it to the preschool hall to try and sell it. I want it to look lovely, but, also can't spend a great deal of money. Until I start selling things, I am going to struggle I think. I've invested lots, and I mean LOTS of money into this already. I really need to either go for it, or stop I think, its kind of make or break over Christmas. If I dont sell any, well, I guess I give up. I'd still do it for presents but, I can't afford to not sell anything. So many people ooh'd and ah'd when I showed them the pieces but, when they went up for sale, no one bought any. Bit disheartening really. However, I am not going to give up yet! No, I am going to keep going, keep trying over the Christmas period and hopefully someone will like something enough to buy it. Positive thinking!

What a busy weekend!

Saturday was 'The Big Bead Show' at Sandown racecourse. My friend, Kate and her friend Helen and I all went along and spent WAYYYYY too much money. But it was fabulous. There were so many fabulous beads, and other jewellery making things on display as well as a multitude of different items being worn by their designers. (yes, I did where one of mine, I hope people looked at it and thought it lovely). I am now the very excited owner of a PMC kit. Precious Metal Clay is a revolutionary way of working with silver and gold and I am very, very excitedly looking forward to producing my own silver pieces to use in my Jewellery.
I've stil not had anyone buy anything from my site, which is disappointing but perhaps I was being just a little too impatient. However, I've made a watch, which I am going to run a competition for people to win. Not quite sure how to sort that just yet, whether to simply do a straight buy something and be entered, or whether to ask people a question about the site, and then draw for the winner. We shall see.
Today was little Georges Baptism. It was a terrific service, really lovely and the children were quite well behaved, all things considered. However, about 5 minutes after getting there my shoulder started to hurt, and it has not stopped all day, in fact I am sure its getting worse. I really can't take much more of this pain. Its constant. It never ends. I am taking painkillers like my life depends on it, and yet, it STILL hurts. ARRGGHHH.

How much for your time?

I've had someone ask me whether I've done any research into my prices as they seem over priced! They then supplied an example where someone is charging £6 for a bracelet. Disregarding the vast difference between the materials the 'cheap' item has been made with, in comparison with the materials I use there is still the matter of my time. How much is my time worth, to me, to my family, and to my, dare I use the term? 'Buisness' Even if I was given ALL the materials that go into a bracelet, and ALL the tools required to assemble and build it, how much would my 'Time' be worth? The time it took to design the item, to then go and buy the components, to select them, to get them home again, and then finally to put it all together. Beads, findings, crystals. They do not just appear in my house, I have to actively get them. They do not throw themselves together, magically attaching themselves to jump rings, clasps, eye pins and nor do they know just how they need to be arranged to look as I imagine them to be. It takes time. My time.

The answer to my original question is, as much as I value my time to be. The seller who is advertising bracelets at £6 obviously does not value their time as I value mine. My children would probably put an even higher price on it than me. So, for now, no, I do not think I am over priced. I think my prices are spot on for a handmade piece of designed jewellery, often using handmade lampwork beads that some other person has put their time into as well. If you buy from a work at home mum, you are not just buying an 'item' a tangible, touchable thing, you are investing into the life of the people who give their time to design and craft that item. How can anyone expect that to be deemed valueless?

Ta-da! Finally got the photography sorted... I hope

Its been a battle, a headache and a source of great distress as I've tried to get the photos on my folsky shop to look clear and crisp but, I think I have finally cracked it! Thank goodness. I've spent such a huge amount of time on them, editing, re-taking them, correcting them, re-taking them again its been a bit distressing actually. The problem? I was resizing them, reducing them to a smaller size but, then when adding them to Folksy their software was blowing the photo up, so blurring the edges. DOH!





I made an absolutely gorgeous bracelet yesterday using the amber lentils that I bought from Kate, its such a lovely 'warm' piece. I am sure it will sell, eventually. Actually I have made one sale! so, it was to my Auntie but, it counts. Right?

At the moment I am hiding upstairs, its 12 midday! Feeling really highly strung and wrought for some reason today. Am worried that a small thing is going to set me off, there have been a couple of near misses as it is. I've no idea why. I didnt sleep well, but, thats not a new thing. I wonder if its the constant ache/pain finally getting to me, or whether its just the PND cycling again. Either way, I dont want to upset the children, or shout at them so hence me hiding upstairs.

Photography nightmare

I am not a photographer. Seriously, I have no idea how to take photos. Taking decent ones of my jewellery has been a trial. I've tried allsorts and its giving me a headache. It has taken longer to get a photo of an item that it would take to make all my stock! How do people get such great photos? Anyway, getting there, and I've updated some of the photos of stock on my site, and added a new piece too so fingers crossed that someone will buy something. Soon! Need to justify all this time, effort and expense!





I've been to the Dr about my shoulder/arm pain. Not particularly helpful, he's given me some anti inflammatory pain relievers and referred me for a scan. The tablets are not helping at all! How can that be? I've taken them WITH paracetamol and still it hurts. I'll give it a couple of days, in case they need to build up in my system but, otherwise its back I go...





E has been poorly, stomach upset, vomiting and of course diarrhoea (sp?, too lazy to check...). She seems better today, but, I am not sure we should take her to see Gran. Its Gran's birthday today, and she is very frail anyway, I dont think she needs to be put at risk, birthday or not. John may have to go, him and the boys.





H has been very unhappy! He threw hubby's laptop on the floor at one point! well, ok, pushed as hes too small to pick it up and throw it, but, it was a deliberate act of frustration and anger. Please tell me my sweet, gorgeous, happy boy isn't turning into a tempermental toddler early!

Quick post

Just a quick post to display the brooch I've made for Hubby's Gran, its her birthday tomorrow. Hope she likes it.

Something Sparkly?

It seems I may have a shop! well, a virtual shop anyway. Something Sparkly?

I showed some friends my jewellery that I'd made and they all seemed to like it. Yes, I know, would friends tell you the truth? In this case, yes, I feel they were. So, I decided to take the bull by the horns and set up a little shop on Folksy. It should have been simple but I decided I wanted to have an email address specifically for the shop, which meant getting a new domain name set up. I've also had to set up a buisness account with Paypal to deal with payments (positive thinking that people will buy things!). I had a little play around with domain names, using my shop name as a starting point and have now gone with Somethingsparkly@folksy.org.uk. Great, except that the domain still isn't live yet, and I've used that to set up my PP account AND my shop so, I really hope it starts soon, or it may all go a bit pear shaped before we get anywhere.

So, watch out for 'Something Sparkly?' and don't forget to tell people if you see things you like.

Taking the photos of my stock is proving to be harder than it should be. I am finding it hard to get them in a clear crisp format, that shows the colours and of course the sparkly bits (where present). I think I need some professional help. As it is, I have only got one photo of any use out of all the ones I've taken! This is poor. I must work on that. I really should be doing that now I suppose. More later...

Waiting for the postman

Having been ill all last week, spending it in bed, I thought I had made a good enough recovery to take the children to school yesterday. It was raining, that really weird, heavy, sticky type of rain that soaks you in seconds and runs down your collar before you are off the end of your drive. Today, I am now shakey, feeling extremely exhausted, and hot again. Pants. Its just so not on, I can't be ill so much, not enough time for it. So, Poor hubby has taken the two older ones to school again, and I am sat at home, waiting for my lovely postman as I am hoping he will be bringing me more beads to play with. At least if I can get some things made I wont feel like the day has been a complete waste. I have asked if I can have a table at preschool, to display and sell my bits, with the preschool getting a % of any takings. Its probably less about selling lot s and more about finding out what sells, what people like, how much they will pay etc but if I do make anything all well and good. There is a 'Big Bead Show' in two weeks time, at Sandown, and I hope to be going along. Its a fact finding mission, and maybe pick up some bargains too. Perhaps some gorgeous, unique beads, findings, ideas and possibly contacts too. I need to take some photos of the things I have made but, this dreadful weather and feeling so, well, cruddy, is not really making me feel like going to the effort. I need to though, especially if I am to get any good at this sort of thing. I'd like to maybe get a Folsky, or Etsy shop too, but thats a while away yet.

Now, Proud Mummy Moment!!!

Emily is going to have a poem published in a book! Last year, her school entered a competition and Emilys has been selected to go into the book! Its very exciting and I am just so proud of her. A copy of the book will be in the British Library in london, as well as going to other libraries too. We will of course have to buy a copy (or three) too. I am not sure she understands why its so exciting, she seemed more interested in the stickers they sent as a well done. Bless her.

The chickens need a roof on their run! I went out this morning to top up their food and water and its rather boggy in there. A roof would reduce the amount of rain that gets in. It wouldnt hurt once in a while but, with winter coming its going to get very unpleasant in there I think. Must get that sorted. Need to give them a 'deep clean' too. Getting the Cube out, and scrubbed, raking out the aubiose and replacing it, a veritable dust storm of red mite powder and it will all be sorted for another month or so. Two of the three pullets we hatched have taken to sleeping on the roof of the cube too. This is not good as they poo all over it. I've hosed it down a bit today but need to find a way to get them to sleep IN it, and not on it. The feather plucking problem persists. I've tried Ukadex and bump bits. The ukadex seems to work for a bit, but, it can taint the eggs, I know, I ate one and it was repulsive. It think its only via transfer, rather than aborbtion through the shell, but, I would really not want to eat one if I were a customer. The bump bits were useless. Hubby and I failed in getting one on at all! I think I may need some expert help with that. Not quite sure who but, must investigate. Its getting a real issue now. I *think* its Amy who is doing it because she seems to be the only one who isn't bald anywhere. It would be horrible but, I may have to rehome her if I can't sort it out any other way. If thats not possible then, I really dont know what to do.

I've edited this to add some photos.

Distressing morning

This morning I had to cull one of my girls. She's been under the weather with sour crop for about a month now. Its been very hard. Though I know it was for the best, for her, its a most distressing event and one that I really dont want to have to do again. We have not told the children. There are enough chickens that they wont miss one, but, I realise that at some point they are going to have to learn about just how chicken ends up on our plates and then we will have to explain it all. Which is kind of one of the reasons I wanted to get chickens, so, hey ho, it will have to be done at some point. Just not in any kind of rush to do it.


In the meantime.

I have been playing around with beads and making jewellery. I am really enjoying it. Though its costing me a small fortune in visits to John Lewis and on ebay. I must work out how to sell some of the things I make soon. Just got to get some 'stock' built up first I guess. I might try Folksy, or Etsy. We'll see. In the meantime I am thinking of giving some to the 'Friends of St Pauls' stall to sell, give them something a little different to entice the punters in.

I'm trying very hard to think of cheery things to write but all I can think about is this morning. I think I will leave it here for now.

All Change

After a rather bad step back with regard to the PND, I have been to the GP after getting an emergency appointment;phoneing at 4.45pm, and bursting into tears when told there was nothing left for that day can get you an emergency, emergency appointment apparently. I have now had a change of meds. As I am no longer breastfeeding (telling the GP this made me start crying again, I LOVED breastfeeding) I can now have Florextine, which is what I have had previously, rather than Citalopram. It means there will be a short period where I may feel worse (whoohoo, Hubby is really looking forward to that. Not.) but hopfully the new meds will kick in and give me a more constant state of emotions. We shall see.

As I type this, the weather is dismal. Typical English Autumnal weather. Rain. Lots of it. My poor bedraggled chickens are hiding under their cube looking all forlorn and more than a little damp. I have got to get the roof done for them. It will only mean a few plastic sheets over the run but really will make life a little less wet for them. I have popped the heating on here as we got soaked coming back from preschool. Oh to be in England.

I have been busy busy busy this morning. I have been drying orange slices for pot pouri, and cooking my homemade mince meat that I started yesterday AND, I have made some beaded bracelets too. I have really enjoyed it but now I need some more findings. I am not getting much from John Lewis, its a great place to get you started but not the cheapest way to do it, if you want to do it in any volume.

Its been a while.

Lots has changed. Some good, some not so good. The first major alteration in circumstances is the allotment. I've had to give it up for a few seasons. I've had problems with my right hip since my middle child was born, he is now 3 and it still gives me considerable pain and prevents me from walking. The main problem is it is so sporadic, I cannot predict when I will next be suffering. I can go for a few weeks absolutely fine and then literally whilst walking down the road, usually on a school run, BAM, I can't walk. So, As my plot was in such a waterlogged unworked state for so long, it was becoming impossible for me to keep ahead of this years weeds and rain. I can't tell you how devastated I was to have to do it. Going there was my retreat, my sanctuary if you like. The community spirit there was just amazing, the stillness, the atmosphere. Its all gone now and I am still upset about it a month down the line.

In looking for a silver lining to my allotment cloud I have realised that I will get much more time to do other things I would like to. I've been making jams, and cordials, and rather an abundance of flavoured spirits for Christmas gifts. I've also been sewing things, wheat bags and the like. I am learning to crochet, with the help of you tube and am also dabbling with beaded jewellery. I took a two hour basic lesson at Centre Parcs and completely loved it. I have masses to learn but love tinkering with my beads and crimps.

One of the good things thats occured is that my PND seems to be less severe, in that I have odd bad days, rather than odd good ones. I still get really low ones, and then the need, the desire to run and hide forever is hard to resist, but, good days are fabulous, I am getting on with things around the house, the children are amazing and life is good.

I have somehow rather foolishly volunteered to help organise the St Pauls School Christmas fair. How did that happen? There is so much to do, and so little time, I have a small group of others who also breavely stepped up when needed but, arrgggghhh. The pressure. (ok, so actually I a looking forward to being a little useful, and hope it will boost my confidance in my abilities).

Its been a very long time

Blog posts have been way down my list of priorities unfortunately. The short and honest truth is that the PND got so bad that I simply could not function. I was anxious, stessed and desperate. I even started to make severe scatches into my arms with knives. Not good. Hubby had to go on a course and so my BIL and MIL took days off to come and sit with me so I was not alone. It was bleak.

But. The last two weeks have been really rather lovely. All ordinary and standard. I have enjoyed spontaneous laughter with John, enjoyed playing and laughing with the children and just totally enjoyed life. Part of me cannot express how scared I am it is temporary, another part thinks that even if it is, this is still a significant step to being well again. Oddly, not having visits from HV's and Mental Health team members seems to have helped more than the visits do. Hmmm.

Good news. All my chickens are laying! YAY. 8 eggs a day, well, not every day, even chickens get a day off. I am starting to sell them as half dozens now, rather than in 4's. They have made one heck of a mess of their area in the last two days though. Its the worst its been since they moved in. I have a plan, involving lattice fencing, to give them a permanent enclosure to roam in, keeping them off the grass, just for the summer, so that the children can play and run bare foot without stepping in piles of Guano.

Talking of chicken poo, I have been taking it down the allotment. Its with some excitment I write that I have got Onions and carrots in down there. Whilst here, at home, in the summer house I have parsley, carrots, potatoes,Rasishes, Broad Beans, Green Peppers, Sweet corn, courgettes, tomatoes, parsnips and some more onions, all seeds (with oneor two exceptions) so will have to wait and see whether they grow or not. The radishes are in the raised bed, and are doing well, whilst the Broads beans and the Sweetcorn were bought at the market in Kingston, £1 per pot and each pot had several seedlings in. They were a little pot bound and it wasnt easy to get them seperated and into larger pots so it remains to be seen whether they survive the trauma. My small temporary growing greenhouse thing is now full. I have no more room to grow anything using that. Will have to come up with a cunning plan on how to increase the growing area.

As for the allotment. I have made a raised bed from an old pallet. I quite enjyed breaking it up, and then rebuilding it into something I need. I have also repaired the compost bin there as several planks of wood from the front were missing, making the front too low to be useful. These have now been replaced so I have a much deeper area (just as well with all that chicken poo...). John got me two nice pallets from work and these have been nailed to each other and one side of my little (very little) shed to make a small enclosed storage area. I have also got hold of 150 paving bricks and a huge pile of net curtains, both freecycle. One of the curtains has been nailed up inside my shed window so that when I use my pot toilet for a quick wee, I can do so in privacy (I tip the wee onto the compost as it acts as an accelerant, speeding up the process). The rest of them are going to be used to protect my as yet none existant fruit bushes.

One of my allotment neighbours has dug over a huge area for me. I felt very guilty when he said he would do it, but he insisted, saying that there was nothing to do on his plot so he may as well dig mine. Just as well as I have all those seeds which will hopefully grow and need somewhere to go. In return I have baked him some cakes, which I will take down tomorrow.

One of my neighbours here at home has also managed to get me some fabulous, good solid and chunky planks of wood, and two more pallets. These will be turned into gorgeous, sturdy raised beds too. I think I am turning into a bit of a raised bed fanatic.

Going to spend some time with my poor, long suffering but totally lovely hubby. see you soon.

Not doing well.

I feel incredibly low today. Seriously low. Not a great way to start an entry but if I dont get this out somehow then its going to become worse. I have already had thoughts of harming myself, and of wishing I was dead so that this was all over. I would like to say that I dont want to die, but, the truth is, I dont want to keep feeling like this. I can't face another day, or even another hour of feeling so absolutely despondent and depressed. Thinking that I will be like this for a good while yet makes me want to give up. I am so tired of being tired. I just dont know how long I can keep going on for, or even if I actually want to keep going. What I would like to do is to lie down, close my eyes and drift off to sleep and never wake up.

Yesterday was a terrific day. A friend visited from Essex, bringing her three children with her. The six children played very well together. All day! They spent a large proportion of this time in the garden with the chickens and dug up LOTS of worms for them, which they then fed to them by hand. The chickens were extremely greatful for the treats,especially as they didnt even have to work for it! We had a cheat lunch of pizza and I should warn anyone at this point that if the pizza is called 'Inferno' then it is going to cause you severe pain on the tongue. In the end we picked the seriously hot chillis of and just left the milder ones.
Today we are going to visit a 'Cube'. Well, a lady who has an Omlet Cube. We are getting a new one, the decision has been made, but want to go and see one anyway. I am looking forward to it with childlike excitement.
The weather today is bitterly, bitterly cold. The wind is so cold it seems to cut through all the layers of clothes and into your skin. I was going to go to the allotment this morning but as its an exposed area I chickened out (pardon the pun please).

Plans and Progress (or not)

Well, its been a few days since I last posted. Mainly as I had forgotten my password. I have found that one of my PND symptoms is a very, very poor memory. Its actually quite scary to know that you know something but that you simply cannot remember it. There have been a couple of horrible occasions when I have forgotten my own daughters name. Its saddening, but, I cling to the hope that its simply a temporary thing. On a better note though, the increased dose of meds seems to be paying off, I have had an unprecedented 5 days in a row where I have been normal, functioning, in control and able to deal with the ups and downs of life with children. I have had times of great enjoyment playing with them. Again, its a small glimmer of hope amongst the shadows of despair that I have lived in for 4 months.
In this state of normalacy, I have rearranged the lounge. Why? So that I can sit and have a better view of my Chickens! I have even trimmed some overgrown shrubs that were obscuring my view. The chickens are still bringing me a great sense of fulfillment. Each time I collect an egg I feel excited and yet calmed, if thats not too contrary. They are such peaceful creatures and they really do seem to help me relax. Despite them scratching the garden to oblivion. I am hoping that the destruction will eventually cause my hubby to cave and allow me to buy a purpose built walk in run. Sneaky! you bet, but, its still so enjoyable watching them in the garden. My parents were here at the weekend, and they went away with two x 1/3 of a doz eggs, and two jars of my homemade sweet chili jam. I got quite a sense of achievment being able to pass those on, I know I didnt actually lay the eggs myself, but, I did make the Jam, and it is me who tends the hens so, I do help (or like to think so) in the egg production process. I feel I should also mention that Saturday was our first 5 egg day! Molly has started to lay too now, so, its just Charlotte to go. I plan to sell the eggs for £1 for 1/3 of a doz. The money is going to go into a big jar. I am not sure what for, but its a good feeling to think that it will be MY money, not housekeeping money.
I have been planning my veg growing. Having been sent some free seeds, I shall be using those to start off down the lottie. It makes sense, until things are up and running properly (at least two seasons I fear) I can't really be too precious about what to plant. So, its carrots, onions, Cos lettuce and some Mezzuna (salad leaves) for this year. I am going to reuse the small veggie areas at the bottom of the Garden too, just got to keep the girls off of it once its in use.
I was chatting with a neighbour recently and he is going to try and procur me some free timber. The local timber yard backs on to his place of work and they have a huge pile of unsaleable timber and they will let him have some. Also, he is going to ask one of his fellow allotmenteers to make me a pointed spade (similar to the ones you always seem them use in american films). Its £15 but it makes sense that it will make turning over the soil easier, especially my very heavy water sodden clay soil.

Red Eglu, Green Eglu

The three new hens are laying very well, we had a full house yesterday, though am somewhat disappointed with just one egg from them today. Storm produced her perfect little egg this morning; I had it poached on toast with yesterdays little gift egg from her. Delicious, and the colour of the yolk was stunning, a deep yellow/orange colour.
Zsa Zsa, one of the new hens (Red Eglu flock) is pecking the other two, taking feathers. I got in touch with the previous owner and it seems that this had started to happen before I got them, which is good in that the move hasnt caused the behaviour, bad in that it means its established behaviour and will be very hard to break. I have got some anti peck spray on order, which should arrive monday or tuesday of next week. Hopefully that will sort it, if not, I shall have to step up to move intensive anti peck lotions which, as far as I can gather smell totally revolting even to humans. Nice.
No sign of Molly producing that first egg despite lots of crouching going on. She was so approachable on Monday I really thought we might see something soon. As for the pale egg from the other day, I am now not sure it was Charlottes as nothing else has been seen. Only Storm is laying regularly from the Green Eglu flock.
On Wednesday (yesterday) I gave a half dozen of our precious eggs to our neighbour; they are a lovely family. Obviously we had a conversation about the hens, its the first time I have seen her since before we got them. She was extremely interested and even more excitingly apparently her son has asked for Chickens before and since seeing mine is more keen than ever. I have said he is very welcome to come and look at the set up, Eglu and runs, and to meet the girls of course. I hope he does, and I also hope he remains keen, it would mean a Hen sitter on our doorstep which would be fabulous.
Hubby told me to order the run extention for the new girls. I am relieved actually as they really need the extra room but I was worried about asking. However, he was fine, and was as concerned as me about them only having the standard size run. It should be arriving Monday/Tuesday, I ordered the anti peck spray from the same company, Omlet, who make the Eglus.
PND today has not been too bad, not a completely great day, with a mini meltdown over supper as Emily complained even before she got to the table that she didnt like it. *sigh* its very frustrating and I did lose my cool a little, though Hubby was there to diffuse the situation. This whole thing is not fair on anyone, I suffer, the children suffer, hubby is suffering. Its an illness that affects the entire family, one way or another yet its all my fault. The Health Visitor came yesterday, bizarrely, I enjoy her visits, I get to talk about how I am feeling/coping (or not) and she askes pertinent questions that make me see things from different angles and this then gives me new options that perhaps I would not have thought of. I expressed my concern that hubby is exhausted and suffering with lack of sleep. He works all day, comes home, eats supper then I go upstairs on my own whilst he deals with the children and the aftermath of supper. Then he comes upstairs, I take care of Howard and he gets the older two into bed, then he goes downstairs to tidy up, clear away, do laundry and/or ironing (he does take a long time to iron a shirt thought) and he often doesnt get to bed until 1am, only to be woken by Arthur at about 4am when hubby then goes and sleeps on a makeshift bed on the floor in Arthurs room, till about 6 when they all then go down for breakfast. However, if I dont get enough sleep, the PND symptoms are much worse the next day or so, and he then gets called home from work or something. We simply do not know what to do for the best. I asked if there was any sort of help we might be able to get, though she didnt hold out for much hope, she said she would look into it. I am not sure what help we need to be honest.
I have been trying to plan my allotment. Not easy as I dont have the items I wanted to get (on my Christmas list but thats another story). So, I am trying to work out a plan of action. I hope to go down, possible Sunday, if not next Wednesday, and measure out where I want my beds to go, and then start clearing the first ones. I was going to try and clear the whole plot in one go, but, that is not going to work, so now, its going to be one bed at a time. Slowly but surely. I want raised beds, and I am going to measure up when I go down and try and buy one set of plinths to make the first bed. Then dig over the area, then place the edges in, and then infill with some of the fab compost I have home here, and the compost from the heap on my plot. Long term, I want to built three compost bins down there, and do 'hotbedding' whereby the compost heap is also put to work growing crops before the compost is then added to the beds. Its done on a three rotation, one empty composter being filled, one being used, and one growing things. So, lots of plans, lets just hope time and weather allow.

We have six Chickens! Today we drove to collect our new hens, and Eglu. We bought them from a lady who having returned to work just felt that she and they were not getting a lot from each other. So. Now they are here with us. Hubby and I put the run and Eglu together with the enthusiatic *help* of our two oldest children. Excitement was boiling over though as we lifted each hen from her transportation box and found, nestled in the straw a perfectly formed egg. I really hope the move has not upset them and stops them laying, or worse causes one or more to become eggbound. Lets hope not. They will have to stay in their run for about a week, before I let them free range, possibly Friday. I shall see how they get on, how they cope with the other three and how the laying goes. Their eggs are much larger than Storms.
More chickeny news though. Yesterday we were out all day, and got home around 6, so I went out to close the Eglu door and thought I would just do a quick nest check. There was one egg there, I picked it up, took it indoors and popped it straight into the bowl with the others in the larder, I didnt even look at it. This morning, I took the bowl out to date the egg from yesterday and was surprised to see that it was a very different colour to the usual ones Storm has been laying. It is MUCH lighter and creamier in colour, storms are a sort of warm mid to dark beige, this was a creamy pale beige. I am now wondering if it is in fact Charlottes first egg! I shall be interested to see what is in the nest box tomorrow. Should that be nest boxes though, afterall I can't wait to see if my new girls continue to lay.
The house is a mess. Tomorrow I am going to have a go at tidying the dresser in the hall, a task I set myeslf on Friday but as previously explained, it didnt get done. It is on my list for tomorrow. Actually its the only thing on my list for tomorrow, well apart from cleaning out the green Eglu, as it didn't get done today, but I dont really count that as a chore as I like it.
I think Howard is teething. We have seen that there are two bottom teeth trying to make it through but nothing much is happening, but tonight he has been crying, unhappily which he doesnt do, he cries if he is lonely because he can't see me, and occasionally as he tries to get to sleep if he is tired but this crying was very different. I gave him a small does of Ibuprofen, and he seems to have nodded off to sleep now. I hope he sleeps later than he did this morning, 5.30 he woke, and he was grumpy too, teeth, they really do cause a lot of trouble.

Lets get the PND stuff out the way first.

Last night, as I was trying to go to sleep, I decided that I would get three things done today. The first was that I would get the old 6-9 month clothes out of storage and washed for Howard. The second, I would get another batch of Sweet chilli Jam made and try to get it to be Jam and not toffee. The third was to tidy the dresser in the hall. I managed the first two (the Jam is the best!) but not the dresser, but, that is because I met a neighbour as I got back from the school run and invited her in for a coffee. This in itself is an achievement so I am not going to be hard on myself for the lack of dresser tidying. The rest of the day went well really. Until the children got in from school. They instantly went into tantrum mode and it pushed me to the edge. I ran away to the bathroom and locked myself in. Not good. I had an immense urge to bash my head against a wall, and I mean that literally, It was a desperate need, to go outside and hit my forehead against the corner of the house. In the end I phone hubby and told him. He came home from work early, organised a pizza for supper and gave me the biggest hugs. Without him I am not sure what I would do, to be honest.

So, to the rest of the day. I let the chickens into their run this morning, and optimistically checked the nest in the Eglu and LO! there was another egg, and it was practically hot, I am sure Storm laid it just as I was opening the run door it was that warm. I ran triumphantly into the house and passed it to hubby so he could feel just how warm it was. Emily also got to hold it too. Collecting these eggs is such an amazing feeling, a simple act, one that has been carried out for centuries, accross the entire world and yet, it fills me with a real sense of pleasure and achievment (can't imagine how it much make the hens feel). After the school run, the hens were allowed to free range in the Garden, whilst I enjoyed a coffee with my neighbour as mentioned above. After she had gone, I tackled the task of sorting out come next size up clothes for Howard and got those in the wash. It was quite nostalgic going through the box, seeing the clothes that Arthur had worn when he was a baby. Must sort out the stuff that Howard is now too big for and get that off to the charity shop too. Once that was done, it was on with the chilli Jam. Having made some a couple of days ago, and trying to work out just where it went to badly wrong, I decided to do it all as I did last time, but, to just boil it for a shorter time. It seems to have worked a treat. Just for the sake of Quality Checks I had a ham sandwich, with a nice spread of the Jam. It was delicious. More importantly, I could get it out of the jar easily.

After the Jam making I thought I would got and chat with the girls. Much chickeny excitment on my part. Storm came over and instantly crouched, followed by the other two who simply wanted to check they were not missing out on treats. But, when I reached towards Molly, she did a very quick but definite 'Bob' too! Later, when I went to give them their afternoon treat and get them into the run. She did it again and I even managed to pet her. Woohoo, another chicken considering laying eggs for us. Just Charlotte to go now.

A day of 'if it can go wrong'...

What a day. I knew it was going to be one of those days when I got out of bed this morning, turned to make sure my youngest was ok and he threw up all over our bed. This resulted in him needing a bath to get it out of his hair and ears. The sheets had to be taken off the bed and the mattress left to air. Then when brushing my daughters hair the hair elastic broke and I had to go off and try and find another. My two year old threw the mother of all tantrums whilst trying to get out of the door for the school run because he wanted to go into the sling carrier (My OCAH wrap conversopn MT) and my youngest was already in there but he wasnt to be put off by this. In the end I had to leave tantuming two year old home with my hubby,dash down to the school with Emily, leave her at the school classroom with a friend and her mum, rush back to the house (praying that the tantrum had subsided, which it had, thank goodness) so that hubby could go to work and not be too late and then dash down to the preschool with him so that we weren't late there.
I had planned to make a batch of Sweet Chilli Jam today. I should have left it until tomorrow I think. But, I didn't. Its the first time I've made it and it was so easy I shall make it often. However, I shall reduce the boiling time as I seem to have made sweet chilli toffee! Its almost solid in the jars. I couldn't decide whether to laugh or cry when I realised and decided to take the cheerier option. I thought about trying to rescue it but I really am not sure how and with all the hassle that it will involve it is as simple to make a new batch to be honest.
To top it all off, no eggs today from my hens. TSK.
However. Looking at this from another viewpoint. All this happening and yet, somehow I made it through. I have had some 'close' moments when I thought I was going to breakdown but somehow I have managed to get past them. Maybe today was sent to try and reassure me that I can get through it all.

I write this in an excited state of anticipation. A second hand Eglu, with three resident Hens was advertised on a forum I use. I thought there was no chance that Hubby would agree but I was astounded when he said YES! I contacted the seller, emails have been exchanged and a deal struck. We collect a Red Eglu, with girls on Sunday Morning. Once they all start laying I should hopefully get enough eggs to sell in boxes of 4. I wont make a fortune of course but it should go towards their upkeep. At the moment only Storm is laying, and not everyday yet either. I think we may get another egg today though as she is in and out of the nest box every 10-20 minutes or so, she is also very friendly and crouchy. In fact, even as I type this, I can see her sat in there, tossing the odd bit of hay over her shoulder. I hope she gets a move on, I have to collect our Eldest from School in an hour and I am so excited about the possibility of getting to collect a warm egg before then. *update* she finally laid her egg, its a MASSIVE (not) 36g, smaller than her first effort which was 39g. Oh well, it will still be delicious I am sure.



Also, on the self sufficient front. I have some Jam jars here now. I am going to make a batch of Sweet Chilli Jam tomorrow. I hope to make enough that a couple of Jars can go to the Church Stall on Saturday. If it turns out ok that is. If it does, its my intention to add it onto a list of things to make for Hampers for presents throughout the year and at Christmas. Ok, so I am thinking ahead, but, it can't hurt.


I am going to have to think about selling some more of my Baby carriers. I tend to stick to the same ones, the others will need to be sold I think. Trouble is, which to sell. At the moment I am using an OCAH Wrap MT conversion and its so supportive but, I find the straps dig in under my arms. Trouble is I love it. I have an Easysling MT which I custom ordered but I have never used. I will definetly keep my first Babyhawk carrier, its lovely and has huge sentiment attached. I love using the carriers, today my 2 year old had his nap just as we needed to leave for the school pick up run, so I popped him into the pushchair and slipped my 7 month old into the OCAH. By the time we got to school, 6 minutes away, they were both fast asleep.

My health vistor came today. She visits once a week to see how I am coping, with the PND. Its not been too bad today, though I did shed a tear or two whilst she was here. PND is such a difficult illness, often its regarded as a matter of weakness in the sufferer, its 'all in their head' but the reality is darker, lonelier, and scarier. Even worse, its never the same for two individuals, there are similarities but its always a personal illness. I've had it three times, after each of my children and its not been the same at all. I thought that my first bout of it was the worst, but, some of the symptoms this time are much scarier, I have wanted/tried to cut my arms. Oddly, the pain it caused was like flicking a switch to 'normal' and I stopped but its a terrifying feeling. This 'need' to hurt yourself, to bring yourself back to normal. Part of me was saying dont do it, its insane, yet another part was saying, if you do it, it will make you feel ordinary again. Thankfully, I have not had the urge or need to do this for several days. I can only pray its a phase that has passed.

Starting out

Welcome to my blog, wont you come on in?

I have decided to start this as a way of not only recording the mundane, day to day things that occur, but also the more exciting things that happen to me and mine. Exciting things! I am sure something will happen that will meet that criteria at least once in a while, so watch this space.
What is likely to come up in here then? Well...

My Children, all three of them, they are terrific, (usually) so I shall be mentioning their antics I am sure.

My Husband, he keeps me sane, well, as much as is possible, and he keeps me grounded. Of course he has his little annoyances but compared with my *things* I am fairly sure he got the worse cut from the deal.

My Chickens, they are new to us, we have had them about 10 days and quite frankly I wish we had got them years ago.

My allotment, its not going at all at the moment, but you will get to hear my trials and tribulations as I try to turn my plot of sodden, solid clay into something that produces an abundance of nutritious and wholesome foods. Maybe...

My Post Natal Illness. Not a cheery subject but none the less at the moment, sadly, it is a major part of mine and my family's life. I may be the one who has it, but we are all suffering from it.

Other things will pop up, somethings will disappear never to be seen again to be replaced with something new, I hope this will be a fluid blog, plotting the route that my life takes. Of course it may end up being completely tedious and boring to those who are unfortunate enough to stumble accross it, but I am sure they will get over it. Eventually.

Right now I can write no more as I have to go and prepare a delicious and warming supper for the masses. Today it will be a wonderfully reheated Supermarket Supper. Tsk!